@jwz well, it gave me critical information about my health and DNA that none of the dozens of "healthcare professionals" I was working with for 4+ years ever did. (as you can probably understand, I have an entire team working on my stupid ass)

@jwz Just shut up and enjoy the show, Corey.

@jwz I'm so close to buying this shirt.

Alt...

T-shirt bearing the words: "Do not talk to me about AI I will kill myself".

@eniko i refuse the awakened reality and substitute my own

@eniko I typically wake up over 15-20 minutes (with my alarm going off every 5 minutes and me hitting snooze) while cuddling cats. I do not like mornings, but cats help.

@eniko
Whatever the dog wants.

(Maybe less so in the recent years, as we bought her an automated feeder.)

@eniko Far more effective to use the laptop for failing-to-get-my-butt-out-of-bed tasks. Tiny phone screen is mostly reserved for when I'm out of the house.

@eniko It's either "get the fuck out of the bed asap" or "fall back to sleep", and there is no in-between 💀

@eniko hit snooze and cuddle blahaj with a mounting sense of dread

@eniko
i think of it as "skidding", i often can't completely wake up right away so i'll fall back asleep and redo the end of the dream i was having again.

sometimes 5-10 times until my cat gets impatient enough to meow right in my face.

@eniko Feed the cat; return to bed.

@eniko reading this just after waking up while i refuse to get out of bed... nice reminder that i should probably get on with my day!

@eniko I take my estrogen and fall again into the cozy

@eniko Get up, take the dogs out, feed them and the cat, make a coffee, get stuff out for my wife’s breakfast, take my meds, then go muck around on my laptop while I drink coffee.

@eniko On a day where I have an alarm set, the alarm is on the far side of the room so I have to get out of bed to turn it off, and there is no snooze, and no way for me to sleep though it. At that point I'm out of bed and shambling around.

On days where I have no alarm, I wake up at 10:00 (almost spookily to the minute) and get out of bed pretty much immediately.

@eniko actually trying to figure out what's the best for me. either 5-10 minutes 'cause i'm saying goodbye to my wife and closing the door for her and deciding if i have the energy to start the day or go back to bed and start a stream on low-volume on my tablet-alarm and then limbo in there for an hour or four.

@eniko if I did start playing with my phone I'd likely wake up my wife, so it's better to just get up.

@grickle
Hopefully no fish in the line of fire! 😱

@nina_kali_nina I usually just jank it in two 🤣

@nina_kali_nina
No grab it with both hands and snap it in half against the curve?

@nina_kali_nina peeling from the tip is the most efficient way to remove all the disgusting strings
(if feel like this poll is subposting me lol)

@nina_kali_nina you peel it from the tip, and hold the stalk. Just like all the other great apes do.

@nina_kali_nina people....eat bananas?

@nina_kali_nina My English is not as good as I thought it was. What’s a stalk?

I eat my bananas the human way, not the ape way.

@nina_kali_nina open it by breaking it in half like you would snap a small tree branch, and then peel and eat each half

@nina_kali_nina

I eat bananas in banana bread and smoothies. For banana bread they are usually falling open stem end due to age. For smoothies I might open either end. Rarely I'll have bananas someone else has opened and prepared as banana chips or banana desserts like pudding or cream pie

@nina_kali_nina carefully make an incision along the length of the banana, remove the meat and place the peel somewhere such that it looks like a whole banana sitting on the counter.

@existentialcomics Irrelevant though, as managers are never held accountable either.

@existentialcomics
And I can't help but notice, the AI bros are spending a lot of time trying to hype how much more *effective* computers are, and not going near that inconvenient accountability thing.

Whoever at IBM made that slide never said a computer can never be complex enough or fast enough or have enough training data. They got right to the fuckin point.

@existentialcomics so what we have here is the dumbest singularity imaginable.

Artificial intelligence didn’t surpass human intelligence, we just decided to subjugate ourselves by handing our agency over to a random number generator.

@existentialcomics Show that to the CEO's of all the companies pushing A.I.

@existentialcomics It’s not a slide, it was in their programming manuals. Paper, there was no internet.

@existentialcomics

A BILLIONAIRE
CAN NEVER BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

THEREFORE A BILLIONAIRE
MUST NEVER MAKE A MANAGEMENT DECISION.

#EatTheRich #NoBillionaires

@existentialcomics as if humans could be accountable. Managers are both to big to fail and replaceable.

@existentialcomics Worth pointing out that GDPR elaborates on that. People have the right to have automated decision making redone by humans in some cases.

@existentialcomics lack of accountability is the goal, though

@existentialcomics I feel like the same logic should apply to policy, because what is policy but an algorithm.

Not a fully formed idea, still noodling on it.

@existentialcomics And still so true!

@existentialcomics and yet here we are with all the AI bullshit making decisions... this timeline sucks.

@NanoRaptor hmmm... about 17 years of age? And I've just gotten more weird and witch-like since...

@NanoRaptor Bronze Age, definitely, dark age as well. Maybe middle age, though I am well into that and have yet to be successfully set on fire.

@NanoRaptor Whenever I weighed the same as a duck.

@NanoRaptor

From age seven to the present.

@NanoRaptor
1600s

@NanoRaptor I dunno about "being a witch" but I'd certainly have been punished for blasphemy by age 7.

@NanoRaptor I’d say between two and four years old.

@NanoRaptor about the same age that I started to refuse to burn myself

@NanoRaptor Probably about 15 when I started playing in my first punk band and consorting with all sorts of like-minded vermin publicly.