@exocomics
Now you're catting with portals!

@exocomics
I would download a cat

@exocomics I want this to be my computer's startup screen

@exocomics

Alt...

A dark, distorted background with bold, white text that reads, "YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A CAT."

@exocomics She summoned the cat to catch the bird. She summoned the bird to catch the spider...

@exocomics So thats how cats appear out of no where

@0xabad1dea There are five nines on the screenshot, I don't see any problem.

@0xabad1dea is that a sequel to "Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors"?

@0xabad1dea i bet i know what's going on here

@0xabad1dea This is what happens when the “official” Whitehouse grift app loads JavaScript from some random GitHub pages.

@0xabad1dea Maybe they meant 9 5s?

@0xabad1dea five nine(ties)??

@0xabad1dea does 89% uptime count as one nine ?

@0xabad1dea

Nine fives

@0xabad1dea I'm more of a nine fives kind of sysop

@0xabad1dea solid A-.

@0xabad1dea that's impressively bad.

@0xabad1dea Grok, is this true? 🤖💩

@0xabad1dea insanity. when i worked for microsoft they would have fired me and then launched whatever was left into the sun if i let this go on for four hours much less ninety goddamn days

@0xabad1dea I nearly choked on my cheese. Good job!

@0xabad1dea Where did this come from? status.github.com paints a very different picture, though also not particularly great honestly…

@0xabad1dea There's a 996 joke in here somewhere, I swear.

Edit: 996: one 9 of uptime, 9-0 incidents, and the third nine in "90 days" is upside down lol. We can workshop it.

@0xabad1dea We're just sloply moving to a new industry standard of nine fives.

@0xabad1dea It's my perpetual joke about Monkeybrains and their eight eights of uptime but the load-bearing structure of the interweb.

@0xabad1dea the yolocolo at european chaos/hacker events has used "9.9999% is also five nines" in some posters...

maybe that's the logic Github's operating by too

@0xabad1dea you can get more 9s of uptime is the first number is an 8

@0xabad1dea ah, found the source of this image:
https://mrshu.github.io/github-statuses/

@0xabad1dea a incident a day keeps the customers away

@0xabad1dea They're so close to achieving zero nines.

How do you even manage 90% uptime over 90 days?? 9 full days of downtime??

My homelab has been subjected to frequent power outages due to the house getting a bunch of electrical work & renovations done, and I've still managed at least 97%.

@0xabad1dea It was a typo, they meant 5 8s and look, they exceeded their goal!

@0xabad1dea GitHub used to be genuinely stable. Also I haven’t noticed a single useful new feature in years.

Question is, is it a general Microsoft/firing people problem. Or is it AI?

@0xabad1dea
It's 5 nines!!!

Alt...

Abive graph with each occurence of a 9 circled in red. There are 5.

@0xabad1dea which site is it that combines the 10 uptime metrics? I'm curious what Claude's is for their four (now five) metrics.

@NanoRaptor I saw a rumour that the Neo 2 is going to have this keyboard but without the backlighting, to save on costs.

@kiwa yes

@grickle
love it!

@grickle I bet that the new mistery is how he chose a so clearly oversize jacket.

@0xabad1dea it is delightful “That was so long ago that RISC was still a distant dream.” Made my eye twitch like an old man who realises that his youth has become sufficiently history that the details have flattened out

@eniko looks good.

@eniko I… like it?

@eniko Looks great to me.

wake up babe new font just dropped

Alt...

window labeled "You Have Died" displaying white text with black drop shadow on gray background

@eniko Looks good

@eniko When I started writing the code for PETI's firmware, I decided to do text mode display, because string manipulation is trivial.

Then I realized that C just natively doesn't really have strings per-se (I later found out that the standard library includes string utilities, but I haven't ported properly into using them effectively, and it shows in the code)

@eniko "if you *print* the text file on paper, you can *port* it wherever you want."

@eniko

Part of the underlying issue is that what is that there is no portable definition of “text file” and “line of text”, TBF.

@eniko wait until you get to portably (locale-independent) formatting and parsing floats :-D

@eniko I once was reading a thick compiler theory book which had like 1 page description of the SSA form; it had a whole chapter about how to read the source file into memory.

@eniko i think the answer is "have someone else solve the problem for you" (i.e. use a library)

@eniko what about fgets() ?

@eniko I will

@eniko yeah, a (really really cheap) safe I had some documents I needed for the next day and I couldn't find the key, time for practicing the thing I watch on youtube! So I guess it counts as a practice lock.

@eniko 100 years ago, @steggy was doing geology field research (ok, she’s not THAT old, but it was a long time ago). There were these sample stations in a state park and we were supposed to drive up an access road to get to them and collect some readings. The park officials knew all about this (it was in conjunction with the local university). They were supposed to leave the gate unlocked at the beginning of the access road. They didn’t.

So it was either a several mile hike on foot, leave and come back later, or I could just pick the master padlock on the gate. It’s a master padlock. C’mon. So, yeah, a few seconds later we had the gate open and we went and gathered the readings. Left the gate locked, just like we found it. This was ok because it was in the name of science! 😛

@eniko Does exploiting a weakness in a suitcase's combination lock count? (Reducing the complexity from trying 10^3 to 10*3 things to try.)

@eniko I tried on a padlock but failed miserably. Then I bought another and failed again lol.

@eniko does finding the combination of a lock by feeling count? I have done this with lock around the house, including my father's briefcase.

@eniko Nice try, cops xD

@eniko I'm voting practice locks, although some of that practice was on a locked door I had the key for

@eniko Yes, and I (we) succeeded.

My nephew had somehow locked an old door, so we took two pieces of scrap metal and fixed them inside, and after about 45 minutes of trying and even practicing on a sibling lock, we managed to turn it twice and it was unlocked. We even tried (while the door was ajar) to open it again, and learned more about the mechanism and succeeded in that too.

I might have done something similar earlier in life, but I don't remember.

@eniko Where does "my lock inside my home, picked because it was easier than locating the key" fall?

you're all delinquents!

i mean so am i but that doesn't get you off the hook

@eniko next to my work is abandoned facility. Nothing interesting at all, also i worked there many years ago, so just "hold my beer" moment. Those locks are so beaten that i used just random keys to unlock.

@eniko i learned lockpicking for the sole purpose of not paying actual money for the laundry machines that were present in my apartment at the time lol

@eniko I grew up in a small town with an abandoned military base. Once my friends and I found a locked filing cabinet so naturally we picked it, hoping to find some exciting classified documents or whatnot. Nothing so cool though, I don't even remember what was inside other than disappointment. So yeah that's the one time I picked a lock in the wild.

@eniko Have you ever encountered door combination locks using touch screens? They're really practical. You never have to remember the PIN as the fat stains of peoples fingers are there to guide you every time. 👍

@eniko I haven’t picked a lock. I have opened doors by sliding a plastic card in the lock, though.

My doors. I’d locked myself out.

@eniko Does slipping a latch count?

@eniko picked/bypassed a couple of friends lockers after they lost the keys and picked my own garage gate lock because my key had gotten damaged somehow and wouldn't work. It can be a very useful skill to have even at a lower level like me.

@eniko Several arcade locks from games I bought with keys lost.

@eniko
When I was a kid I used to have this metal cash box in which I kept my valuables, like candy, cool rocks and sticks I had found, plastic miniature soldiers etc.

As it happens I lost the key so I had to pick the lock. Did it in a couple minutes with a butter knife.

@eniko I picked my front door lock of my old house back when I was a kid. I had to go there for whatever reason I don't remember now and I forgot the keys, so I looked around and made a pick from random things I found around... and somehow it worked.

@eniko

Real picking? Just a practice lock.

Disassembly, removing some pins, and then putting it back for an easy pick later, that was decades ago

@eniko My wife loves me more than my snoring is unbearable.

Same is for my father which sleeps light, and mother that snores a lot.

@eniko yes, and once you have kids cats the number of beings in the same bed tends to go up, especially during winter

@eniko Separate because my wife goes to bed and wakes up much earlier than me, and if I wake her up in the middle of sleeping, she has a very tough time getting back to sleep.

@eniko Had one before where we didn't because chronic pain and insomnia with separate sleep "schedules" made it difficult for either of us to get more than a few hours of sleep. As far as I can tell, it didn't effect the relationship.

@eniko my husband and I are both extremely light sleepers and wake each other up constantly, so we usually sleep separate.